Guess what …I’m nothing special, but I’m me.
Are you one of the lucky ones? Always got a hold of everything in life, always being the top in class? Have you been constantly told you are the special one? The special child, the special human? Look what that kid does, he must be special. And you look around and you really see, a lot of children doing worse than you in terms of performance. At some point though, it all turns around. You get some different experiences. You grew up thinking you were special, performing the best you could. And guess what happens? You keep performing but as you measure yourself to those around you, and that circle expands, you inevitably reach to those that do better than you, smarter than you, happier than you. You compare yourself and you suddenly get blocked. I can’t do anything anymore because I’ll never catch up. I’ll never be that. And I have learnt that is the only way to live. To be the best of the best, to never give up, to never frown or be dissatisfied, cause I was privileged and I had opportunities others didn’t have. Jesus, that puts you in a pain spot. I had no idea it hurt so much to be in that place when you finally realize you can’t use the old tactics again and you just have to give up. Suddenly everything you do is mediocre, you put in a lot less effort, you get satisfied with smaller results. Suddenly you compare to those performing less and voila, you are superhero again! Incredibly fucked up roller coaster ride that you are aware of but can’t seem to get off. Something is way off in that whole approach. Something is way off in the standards we are trying to meet. The life we are trying to live is boiled down to trying to be the best at all times. Suddenly you see, you are no better and you are nothing special.
But then you question, so how do I go about this? Nothing is changing and I have lowered all my standards and I still feel bad. What is wrong in this concept of living? It is simply not true. And if I go on the uphill again, there is pain there, seeing all the people better than me.
Step 1: Acceptance
The world is not there to welcome the princess from the castle.
Daddy’s little princess is no longer in the fairy world and the smack she is getting is the real thing. J Feels like a mud wrestle sometimes, but the princess looks at the marks on her outfits and she feels courageous. She won most of the greatest battles in life. She has worked hard.
Step 2: Curiosity
Of all the things princess has done best, there is a couple of areas she feels very interested in. Some of those things she has neglected in her pursuit of perfection. One of them is writing and expressing herself. The other is getting better and growing which is what she does best in life, with her old habit of putting higher standards. She actually enjoys the exploration. She finds it lovely.
Step 3: Being Out There
The thing princesses know how to do is being a role model for the kingdom in which they are living. I can do that. By loving the few things I do, doing them the best I can, and being who I am, I am actually a role-model. At least for some people.
Well there you go, all of you special people wrapped in your specialness cocoons, it’s your time to step on the cat-walk.
