Don’t Let Others Put You Down

I’ve had my share of challenging people in my life. I found it extremely hard to enter into a conflict. Anger was my taboo emotion.

Today, I still have challenging people. But I’m no longer afraid of them. I’m no longer scared of speaking up. I still sometimes struggle between aggression and assertion, but I’ve learned to practice firm speaking.

Those people can show up at work, in your family, or it can be a rude random stranger.

My previous behavior was ignoring them, but inside burning. Facing them, but with aggression and righteousness. I got burned. I got ignored. The “abuse” got worse. I was so focused on what they thought of me. I was so focused on being right. I was so focused on being a victim. I was focused on the pain inflicted and the hurt that I felt burning inside of me. They were the one to blame! What did I had to do with them??

My thinking now is… I played a victim so well. I was right to be angry and to express it, to stand up for myself. Don’t get me wrong…the pain was real. The pain was there. I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR IT. You know why? It taught me that I can raise up.

When somebody steals your work on the job, you have to be smarter than them.

When somebody crosses the line, you should let them know. If they don’t listen after the third time, leave, they are wasting your time.

When somebody doesn’t love you, it is not your job to convince them otherwise. It is time to love yourself first.

When somebody you care about, a family member, distrusts you and blames you, push the pause button. Put them on hold. Do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better. DO NOT GO INTO ADDICTION. You are better than that. You are more important than that. You MATTER. You are an important part of this world. When you think you are at the bottom, nobody is there for you, nobody supports you, remember: YOU SUPPORT YOU. When you hold yourself, people just show up. STRANGERS CARE.

You know why anger is good? It raises your vibration. It’s like a message telling you: RAISE YOUR STANDARDS. Sometimes it is just right to walk away. To surround yourself with love. It is going to be tough. There will be all kind of garbage coming out of you. Mostly self-judgement. Do not fall in that trap. DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF. Do not believe yourself when that little voice starts: How could I let that happen? Or I’m not good enough so that is why this is happening to me.

Emotional abuse can be very subtle, that’s why YOU MUST NEVER BELIEVE THE NEGATIVE TALK. If you are being abused, it’s because you have such scripts in your mind that constantly PUT YOU DOWN. It is CRUCIAL that you change your surroundings and find SUPPORT immediately.

If you experience abuse in your relationship and in your work surroundings, it’s because you are repeating the scripts you heard in your mind over and over again.

You need to first:

1. RELEASE THE ANGER

2. AVOID SELF-JUDGEMENT and practice SELF-LOVE

3. FIND SUPPORTIVE AND POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT

There are many people out there who are going through the same thing. You don’t want to be with them, they are running the same scripts. You may feel supported, but those people consider themselves victims, just like you. (If you just thought- “but I am a victim” –notice that you are running a script in your head because of the hurt and anger that you feel. The emotions are real, the script is not.) You want people who have OVERCOME that. Find those people. Find personal development and mental health coaches that help people. If you do not have money, there are plenty of resources available online for free. Choose happiness and love.

Life is not meant to be lived in abuse.

If you need to talk with someone who has been there, contact me. Verbal (emotional) abuse in all surroundings: family, work and relationships (both close friend and romantic partners) and choosing to have distractions that were harmful, you name it. I will listen and try to help and recommend methods and videos to watch. You are responsible for watching and using them. It is hard, but not as hard as what you are going through right now.

Now, I’m a happy and centered individual who knows her worth. Abuse is not something to be ashamed of, it can happen to everyone, but there is a reason why it is happening to you. You have the script in your head.

Note:

The people that you call the “abusers” are not really negative people. They are running their own scripts. After releasing all your emotions, you will find these people being extremely pleasant with you or they will disappear from your life. Whichever it is, forgiveness is an important part. Maybe you think you are not yet ready for that - BELIEVE ME, it is where you start from. You will forever be abused if you want to stay in the feeling that you are being wronged. You picked up the scripts, a long time ago, before you developed self awareness. DON’T BLAME YOURSELF FOR IT. It is time to end it.